Sunday, January 29, 2012

Losing weight

Do you need to lose weight? No really, do you actually need to lose weight for the sake of your own health? Or are you trying to lose weight because you don't like your arms, your butt, your stomach, etc? What if you lose the 10, 15, or 20lbs you feel like you have to lose to be pretty?

What if you still don't feel pretty after you lost the weight?

What if you could feel pretty, exactly as you are now? What if more then feeling "pretty" you felt strong, capable, worthy of respect, and beautiful?

I realized recently that the only time I feel like I need to lose weight is when I'm having a bad day because of something else. And then I'm downright mean to myself. (Mentally calling myself a "fat fuck", a "slob", etc. and I have no idea where these thoughts came from.) Then, I start trying to punish myself (I start wanting to exercise not because I know I will feel great afterwards, but because I don't deserve to do anything else).

And I've decided it needs to stop. So I'm getting rid of my scale, and giving it to a good friend who needs to lose weight for health reasons, so she can keep track of her progress. I'm going to make sure I eat 5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day, and exercise most days then I don't. (Which means I really need to start doing that again, because it's been a while since I've exercised.) And when I exercise, I'm going to do whatever feels like fun at that moment.

I'm going to stop saying things like "I hate my stomach", and start saying things like "I should do more core exercises to protect my back", because that's true.

If I lose weight while exercising and eating healthy, then fine. If I don't, then fine.

I know that there are some people out there who probably think I need to lose weight. But if they're not thinking that out of a place of concern for my well being, then they can fuck off. I also know that I have a few friends who are trying to lose weight for health reasons, and I wish them fruitful rewards for all of their hard work, and offer my moral and practical support. For everyone else...think about what I said, ok?

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